This blog is dedicated to my love. She is an Angel in disguise. She is my FALLEN ANGEL..

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Thursday, March 31, 2016

One day this pain will make sense to you..

One day this pain will make sense to you..

I can’t look at myself without wishing I looked like someone else

I can’t look at myself without wishing I looked like someone else

This sadness is unbearable

This sadness is unbearable

Ripped apart, limb by limb, shattering bones, heart caving in. Self mutilation, scar after scar, empty and having warn like tar.

Ripped apart, limb by limb, shattering bones, heart caving in. Self mutilation, scar after scar, empty and having warn like tar.

Death seems more inviting than life

Death seems more inviting than life

It’s getting harder to hide pain...

It’s getting harder to hide pain

Do you ever feel like people just forget you exist and have feelings too?

Do you ever feel like people just forget you exist and have feelings too?

Self Harm isn’t just cutting

Self Harm isn’t just cutting

I wish I could go back to a time when i could smile and it didn’t take everything in me to do it.

I wish I could go back to a time when i could smile and it didn’t take everything in me to do it.

Do you know what it’s like to feel ugly all the time?

Do you know what it’s like to feel ugly all the time?

If you only knew how much, how bad, how often, I hurt….

If you only knew how much, how bad, how often, I hurt….

Panic attacks and Anxiety. When you lose control, can’t think straight, can’t stop shaking and totally break down.

Panic attacks and Anxiety. When you lose control, can’t think straight, can’t stop shaking and totally break down.

Hello, my name is…. Irrelevant

Hello, my name is…. Irrelevant

I’ve had enough of the things that make me nervous and sad

I’ve had enough of the things that make me nervous and sad

Feeling completely worthless every day

Feeling completely worthless every day

Had to fight like hell and hell has made me what I am

Had to fight like hell and hell has made me what I am

Am I a bad person for wanting to die?

Am I a bad person for wanting to die?

I just want to lay in my bed and listen to sad music all day.

I just want to lay in my bed and listen to sad music all day.

My head is a very dark place

My head is a very dark place

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

I think i’m afraid to be happy because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

I think i’m afraid to be happy because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Pain makes people change.

Pain makes people change.

She’s was always standing on a line between giving up & seeing how much she can take.

She’s was always standing on a line between giving up & seeing how much she can take.

This is not a choice, it is a disease.

This is not a choice, it is a disease.

I get lost inside my mind.

I get lost inside my mind.

Why does it always rain on me?

Why does it always rain on me?

I don’t want you to have to save me. I want you to stand by my side as I save myself.

I don’t want you to have to save me. I want you to stand by my side as I save myself.

Every second, every minute, every hour, every day it never ends, it never ends.

Every second, every minute, every hour, every day it never ends, it never ends.

People always tell me that I look sad and tired. I know I look sad and tired.. I AM sad and tired.

People always tell me that I look sad and tired. I know I look sad and tired.. I AM sad and tired.

Sometimes i’m sad and tired and miserable for not reason at all

Sometimes i’m sad and tired and miserable for not reason at all

Yes, I have depression. No, that doesn’t mean I am ungrateful.

yes, I have depression. No, that doesn’t mean I am ungrateful.

Yes, I have depression. No I can’t just “get over it”

Yes, I have depression. No I can’t just “get over it”

And sometimes it hits me out of nowhere. All of a sudden this overwhelming sadness rushes over me. And I get discouraged and I get upset and I feel hopeless, sad and hurt. And once again, I feel numb to the world.

And sometimes it hits me out of nowhere. All of a sudden this overwhelming sadness rushes over me. And I get discouraged and I get upset and I feel hopeless, sad and hurt. And once again, I feel numb to the world.

I just wanna feel okay again...

I just wanna feel okay again...

I hate getting flashbacks from things I don’t want to remember.

I hate getting flashbacks from things I don’t want to remember.

I like to be alone, but I hate being lonely.

I like to be alone, but I hate being lonely.

I often miss this little girl. Whose dreams had no barriers, who believed in a world where anything is possible. with a heart that was full and unbroken.

I often miss this little girl. Whose dreams had no barriers, who believed in a world where anything is possible. with a heart that was full and unbroken.

Scars tell the story of where you’ve been, They don’t dictate where you’re going.

Scars tell the story of where you’ve been, They don’t dictate where you’re going.

I wanna make this cloud above me disappear. I don’t want to hurt anymore.

I wanna make this cloud above me disappear. I don’t want to hurt anymore.

Nothing really matters anymore

Nothing really matters anymore

If life doesn’t kill you, emptiness will..

If life doesn’t kill you, emptiness will

I’m just sad most days

I’m just sad most days

Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high

Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Sometimes we just say “I just want you to be happy”, but deep inside in our hearts we know we still want to be there happiness.

Sometimes we just say “I just want you to be happy”, but deep inside in our hearts we know we still want to be there happiness.

She says she’s fine but she’s going insane. She says she feels good but she’s in a lot of pain. She says it’s nothing but it’s really a lot. she says she’s okay. but really she’s not.

She says she’s fine but she’s going insane. She says she feels good but she’s in a lot of pain. She says it’s nothing but it’s really a lot. she says she’s okay. but really she’s not.

You’re scared to tell people how much it hurts, so you keep it all to yourself.

You’re scared to tell people how much it hurts, so you keep it all to yourself.

My thoughts were so loud I couldn’t hear my mouth

My thoughts were so loud I couldn’t hear my mouth

I hide all my scars with an “I’m fine”.

I hide all my scars with an “I’m fine”.

We all want someone to notice, but as soon as they do, we wish they never did.

We all want someone to notice, but as soon as they do, we wish they never did.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will only cause permanent psychological damage.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will only cause permanent psychological damage.