i want to be free

I am just tired of myself..
this stronginess of mine is making me in prison of my ownself.
I want to live normal
I just hate for being like this
every time any thing goes beyond my thoughts and everytime I say its ok..
but its not ok..
I want to cry aloud
I want to crib , I want to complaint , I want to get pampered..
I want to share my every insecurities, my pain, my desires, my wishes
I want to be annoying , irritating, and bad..
but this is just not happening
my ownself is not allowing me to do so..
I want to handover my all worries to someone who I know will take care of me..
I want some shoulders to cry for.
I want someone to let me please take me out of , myownself  give his hands and say why the hell you don't share and bear all your nonsense thoughts alone. I m there tell me and I will see what needs to be done and I will say every single thought of mine.
but that's just not happening. because I m strong I am supposed to be like this. that I will handle and manage alone. I myself has made me this stupid strong person.
but I m tired now
I want to break down in to pieces with a hope that somebody would collect me again and will make a different me out of my own broken pieces.
I just badly wants to be free of my self my ownself..