This blog is dedicated to my love. She is an Angel in disguise. She is my FALLEN ANGEL..

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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Somebody told me that writing is a therapy ...

somebody told me that writing is a therapy ...bull shit it is nothing ..its all wrong who don't have the guts to speak or laugh loud or have the capability to make others understand what they feel good or bad about..they write ...because if this is true why it is not giving all that what it claims to a person like me...
 the reason may be like different patients have different treatment this therapy is also for those who doest have such vocal and expression capability ...
so this notion is wrong that this is a therapy i think it should be comes with terms and condition applies.....:)

Angel

Why we are mean.

why we are mean ..question asked just now ,,  i would say that as life has two parts of living a bad and a good one ,happier one and sad one ...life is made up of these two flip sides of a coin once a person has has seen good,happy,and bright version of life he or she always wants to be in it...so that the darker and sad part would be far away and at times a man becomes so greedy to become happy that he chooses to be mean..so that by any way either by snatching it from somebody a person wants to be comforted ,happy, and safe...no matter it comes on whose cost and thats makes us being mean and selfish...means thinking about our happiness only....

Angel


Because I don't pretend I do.....

how can people pretend that they love when there many instance shows that they dont....
or may be its just i expects a lot or for me the definition of love is just toooo difficult
i never promises or thinks of soul and depth of love don't know why because for me understanding of love is less important than living the love ,feeling it ,enjoying it, good memories will always remain...and wounds also...so what i want that my love should be felt no matter it understood or not...i don't want any body to understand that i love i just want that it should be felt...
because i don't pretend i do.....

Angel


why the hell i m writing today..

why the hell i m writing today...what i have become a writer ? no way
its just that i want to take out my frustration there is no one in this world with whom i can share the pain i feel every day
wrote it and felt good i know its just temporary but fetching some moments of happiness is even not bad...no matter how temporary it is...
i never feels its our love story i think its my love story...i m in love with the one who is not in love with me ...fair enough realizing this daily may doesn't give me that sadness what i feel being happy with the fact that i love him very dearly..
its not mandatory that the one u love ,loves with same reasons and same intensity...its all about luck and its my bad luck that i failed every time..
its ok i don't think i m toooo bad one day there will be a person who will love me and for whom its me only which exists ...
who want to be with me more than i want to be with him..
no compulsion, no problems only a love for me ...
i think this is not too much i m demanding for
but what if i dint met any one like this...
i will stand again with a hope that may be next life.....

Angel


Different colors of life and love.

Life these days is struggle...today i just resembled my condition with a view that there are two birds in love with each other.
one in cage another one out of cage...the one out of cage is waiting the other one to come out...but the one in cage have decided  that this is his home he can not come out
he has all his reasons to be in that cage as per him he has all wounded wings he can not fly thats why he has to be in this cage the other one is assuring him that she wont let him fall if he once tries....but her love can give him comfort ,love ,peace,but can courage be given ...nooo it has to be within the feel to loose someone may give the courage to fight for the one..now the struggle for the other bird is would he fly,she can not because she loves him ..so the struggle continues daily....but how long everything has its limits..but i just hope that once she give ups the other one would not feel that she didn't loved him...because thats what she did all through her minutes and days...

Different colors of life and love. i dont believe in tomorrow and forever i never promises for any ...but yes today u are the only thing i miss and love...hope that once she leaves that, cage would turn as a home for him...because thats what he wants to be...just be safe and comforted...no matter where u are...because i know i can no longer hold it continued its getting too painful and unbearable daily....

Angel


what is the difference between your and my dreams...

what is the difference between your and my dreams...

I don't dream much because for me the world is far more beautiful in reality as comparison in dreams..u knw why because i can live in it...no matter how bad this world is but it has all i want a zeal to fight for what i see,a happiness to see my dream coming true,a courage to get up again even if a fail..
in totality i may see very less dreams but i have the courage to make them true,to work for it, to feel the happiness, to touch what i feel to let them grow more fonder..
u may see dreams and dreams and dreams and remain happy but fr a short while...but i think every one has there own way of fetching happiness
what matters is being happy...in our own way...neither my way is wrong nor your...its just about being happy though definition for it differs for everybody it differs for me too.

Angel


Christmas, my favorite time of the year.

Christmas, my favorite time of the year.

Christmas, my favorite time of the year.

Monday, November 19, 2012

I love you always, forever..

I love you I love you because, you’re the only one who could make me smile.I love you because, you’re the one I could talk to without being judged.I love you because, you cared for me even when the world turned against me.I love you because, you trust me and I trust youI love you because, when I made a mistake you always forgive me.I love you because, you love me.I love you because, I could open up to you about my fears.I love you because, I could talk to you of my past and not judge me for it.I love you because, you’re in my life. I will always be thankful for that.I love you because, you’re always there for me.I love how you have this catching smile that can get me smiling.I love how you always talk with your mind.I love how you laugh.I love how your voice soothed me.I love how you tease me.I love how clumsy you are.I love how I worry about you constantlyI love how you often talked to yourself I love how you pick songs for me to listen I love how I miss you so much I love how I find myself thinking of you constantly I love how you cuddle me I love how you talk to me so honestly I love how you gave me your attention I love how much I cherish you I love how I can talk to you for hours and hours every day I love how I you meant so much to me I love that I see you in everything I love that I could be in so much pain but still know I love you I love how you love orange juice I love how you had so much trust in me I love how I trust you more than myself I love that I miss you and long for you I love that I could embrace you I love how I could kiss you I love how I could hug you I love how I you baby talk I love how strong you are I love how much you care for me I love how I would wait for the next morning to hear you I love how you can dance I love how independent you are I love how you stay up all night talking to me I love how cute you are I love how I was always captivated by you I love how you really hate some people I love how you were so patient with me I love how you love babies, makes me curious to actually see your expression when holding one I love how much you love abs, I want you to fall in love with my abs. I love that you love horror movies, though they scare me some times but I can keep a straight face. I love that you’re super protective of your family and friends. I love how your hands are always cold. I always want to hold them, to warm them up for you. I love how you love music I love how you’re open minded I love how you treat others how you want to be treated I love how random you can be I love how you carefully plan things I love how you are so amazing at everything you do I love all your pieces of art that you have shown me I love how such an angel like you is in my life I love how I end up missing you and loving you so much I love how after I listen to every love song, I think of you I love how I lay in bed and imagine you sleeping beside me. I love how no matter how tired I get, you always instantly wake me up… Even if it’s in thoughts I love how calm me down just by saying it’s okay I love how you appear in my dreams I love how I think of you when it rains I love how I every time I close my eyes I see you I love how every time I sing to myself, I feel like you’re beside me I love how you believe in me no matter what. You taught me how to believe, and when you believe in someone it’s not just for a minute, or just for now. It’s forever. I love how I find more and more reasons to love you as time goes on. I love that you make me feel alive. I love that I can’t stand being without you I Love that I can't live without youI love you always, forever..

I love you……
I love you because, you’re the only one who could make me smile.
I love you because, you’re the one I could talk to without being judged.
I love you because, you cared for me even when the world turned against me.
I love you because, you trust me and I trust you
I love you because, when I made a mistake you always forgive me.
I love you because, you love me.
I love you because, I could open up to you about my fears.
I love you because, I could talk to you of my past and not judge me for it.
I love you because, you’re in my life. I will always be thankful for that.
I love you because, you’re always there for me.
I love how you have this catching smile that can get me smiling.
I love how you always talk  with your mind.
I love how you laugh.
I love how your voice soothed me.
I love how you tease me.
I love how clumsy you are.
I love how I worry about you constantly
I love how you often talked to yourself
I love how you pick songs for me to listen
I love how I miss you so much
I love how I find myself thinking of you constantly
I love how you cuddle me
I love how you talk to me so honestly
I love how you gave me your attention
I love how much I cherish you
I love how I can talk to you for hours and hours every day
I love how I you meant so much to me
I love that I see you in everything
I love that I could be in so much pain but still know I love you
I love how you love orange juice
I love how you had so much trust in me
I love how I trust you more than myself
I love that I miss you and long for you
I love that I could embrace you
I love how I could kiss you
I love how I could hug you
I love how I you baby talk
I love how strong you are
I love how much you care for me
I love how I would wait for the next morning to hear you
I love how you can dance
I love how independent you are
I love how you stay up all night talking to me
I love how cute you are
I love how I was always captivated by you
I love how you really hate some people
I love how you were so patient with me
I love how you love babies, makes me curious to actually see your expression when holding one
I love how much you love abs, I want you to fall in love with my abs.
I love that you love horror movies, though they scare me some times but I can keep a straight face.
I love that you’re super protective of your family and friends.
I love how your hands are always cold. I always want to hold them, to warm them up for you.
I love how you love music
I love how you’re open minded
I love how you treat others how you want to be treated
I love how random you can be
I love how you carefully plan things
I love how you are so amazing at everything you do
I love all your pieces of art that you have shown me
I love how such an angel like you is in my life
I love how I end up missing you and loving you so much
I love how after I listen to every love song, I think of you
I love how I lay in bed and imagine you sleeping beside me.
I love how no matter how tired I get, you always instantly wake me up… Even if it’s in thoughts
I love how calm me down just by saying it’s okay
I love how you appear in my dreams
I love how I think of you when it rains
I love how I every time I close my eyes I see you
I love how every time I sing to myself, I feel like you’re beside me
I love how you believe in me no matter what. You taught me how to believe, and when you believe in someone it’s not just for a minute, or just for now. It’s forever.
I love how I find more and more reasons to love you as time goes on.
I love that you make me feel alive.
I love that I can’t stand being without you
I Love that I can't live without you
I love you always, forever..

Friday, November 16, 2012

I’m a little bit scared of what comes after..


Well, Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die. I’m a little bit scared of what comes after

Well, Jesus Christ
I’m not scared to die.
I’m a little bit scared of
what comes after..

I’m Sorry.


I’m Sorry.

I’m Sorry.

You cannot possibly Imagine exactly how much I hate myself


You cannot possibly Imagine exactly how much I hate myself

You cannot possibly Imagine
exactly how much I hate myself

I’m used to it.


You will forget about me. But it’s okay, I’m used to it.

You will forget
about me.

But it’s okay,
I’m used to it.

Welcome to my ruined life.


Bad decisions? That’s fine. Welcome to my ruined life.

Bad decisions?
That’s fine.
Welcome to my ruined life.

I’m trying to think of a reason to keep on living.


I’m trying to think of a reason to keep on living.

I’m trying to think of a reason
to keep on living.

I bet they’re saying all kind of things about me.


I bet they’re saying all kind of things about me.

I bet they’re saying
all kind of things about me.

I am simply useless and wandering


I sometimes think that I don’t have purpose in this world. I am simply useless and wandering

I sometimes think that
I don’t have purpose in this world.
I am simply useless and wandering

I think Terrible things


I think Terrible things

I think Terrible things

I’m miserable


I’m miserable

I’m miserable

There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.


There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.

There are no secrets in life,
just hidden truths
that lie beneath
the surface.

Something inside me died.


When you walked out the door, something inside me died.
When you walked out the door,
something inside me died. 

But I’m going to cry.


I was trying my best not to, but I’m going to cry.

I was trying my best not to,
but I’m going to cry.

I’ve completely lost my self

I’ve completely lost my self

I’ve completely lost my self

Why do these tears come every time I think of you?

Why do these tears come every time I think of you?

Why do these tears come every time I think of you?

When I smile, nobody ask me questions


When I smile, nobody ask me questions

When I smile, 
nobody ask me questions

Can I just fall asleep and never wake up?


Can I just fall asleep and never wake up?

Can I just fall asleep and never wake up?

I can’t do anything to escape from them..


It gets harder at night, when everyone leaves me with alone with my loneliness, and I can’t do anything to escape from them..

It gets harder at night,
when everyone leaves me
with alone with my loneliness,
and I can’t do anything to escape from them..

You pretend it doesn’t bother you, but you just want to explode


You pretend it doesn’t bother you, but you just want to explode


You pretend it doesn’t bother you,
but you just want to explode

Oh..

Oh..

Oh..

How do you talk to people..?


How do you talk to people..? I can’t. It scares me. I feel like they’re judging me.

How do you talk to people..?
I can’t.
It scares me.
I feel like they’re judging me.

The worst time of my life

I thought I already have been through the worst time of my life, it turns out that was just a warm up.

I thought I already have been
through the worst time of my life,
it turns out that was just a warm up.

I don’t like feeling things.


I don’t like remembering. Remembering makes me feel things. I don’t like feeling things.

I don’t like remembering.
Remembering makes me feel things.
I don’t like feeling things.

That’s how depression hits.


That’s how depression hits. You wake up one morning, afraid that you’re gonna live.

That’s how depression hits.
You wake up one morning,
afraid that you’re gonna live.   

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Deep inside you want to cry..

I can see you are sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh, I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry..


I can see you are sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh, I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry.. 

I am tired of thinking

I am just another nothing


I am just another nothing

I am tired of thinking

I am tired of thinking


I am tired of thinking

I am beginning to let myself down.

I am beginning to let myself down.


I am beginning to let myself down.

I am still depressed because I am alone & no one loves me

I am still depressed because I am alone & no one loves me


I am still depressed because I am alone & no one loves me 

I'm not quite like myself these days. I'm bit abnormal.

I'm not quite like myself these days. I'm bit abnormal.


I'm not quite like myself these days. I'm bit abnormal.

The days feel like years when I'm alone

The days feel like years when I'm alone


The days feel like years when I'm alone

Everything is so hard afterwards

Everything is so hard afterwards

Everything is so hard afterwards

Everybody has a secret world inside them..

Everybody has a secret world inside them..


Everybody has a secret world inside them..

Thinking how much we loved each other once..

Thinking how much we loved each other once..


Thinking how much we loved each other once..

I started a never ending fight with myself..

In this whole world you are the only person I love, the only one person I love terribly & desperately. I'm addicted to your love, even if its a hardcore reality  but I don't want to believe it, I can live without you & I know I started a never ending fight with myself..















In this whole world you are the only person I love, the only one person I love terribly & desperately. I'm addicted to your love, even if its a hardcore reality  but I don't want to believe it, I can live without you & I know I started a never ending fight with myself..  

Sometimes I miss people even before they leave me alone
















Sometimes I miss people even before they leave me alone
&
I get depressed 

Heart make decisions without thinking about consequences.

Heart make decisions without thinking about consequences. Because it doesn't have mind to think It can never see the lonely days that follow.














Heart make decisions without thinking about consequences.
Because it doesn't have mind to think
It can never see the lonely days that follow.

I am falling in love with death

I am falling in love with death






I am falling in love with death

Did I ever existed.

I walk around everyday like a ghost, many times I question myself whether I exist in this world & many times I think did I ever existed.














I walk around everyday
like a ghost, many times
I question myself
whether I exist in this world
&
many times
 I think did I ever existed.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I'll violate you in the most sensual way..

Come closer my Love I'll violate you in the most sensual way..














Come closer my Love I'll violate you in the most sensual way..

When will I get a chance to feel that neck again ..

When will I get a chance to feel that neck again ..














When will I get a chance to feel that neck again ..

she always give chills of excitement..

There's no doubt she always give chills of excitement down in my spine.














There's no doubt she always give chills of excitement down in my spine.

My imagination about you always take over me.



My imagination about you always take over me.














My imagination about you always take over me. 

You're on my mind, My Love..

You're on my mind,  My  Love..















You're on my mind,
My Love..

Smile..


Smile.. it's the second best thing to do with your lips..















Smile..
it's the second best thing
to do with your lips..

I love when you tease me..

I love when you tease me..















I love when you tease me..


Yes I have a dirty mind and you're on it..
















Yes I have a dirty mind and you're on it..

I want the lot of what you've got

I want the lot of what you’ve got and nothing that you're not.















I want the lot of what you've got and nothing that you're not.

Sorry babe if I bahave rude to you..

Sorry babe if I bahave rude to you..















Sorry babe if I behave rude to you..

Every good girl has a bad girl side.

Every good girl has a bad girl side.   It just depends if her partner knows how to awaken the best















Every good girl has a bad girl side.  
It just depends if her partner knows
how to awaken the best